Goodbye To You.

The last few hours of being a 19YO. The last of the 1?YOs if you get what I mean. Going to be 20. Can I be considered an adult? But, why don't I wanna be classified as an adult? I don't ever wanna be an adult. I don't think I deserve to be called a grown-up with a mentality like mine. What have I accomplished the last 19 years? Going into the 20-ies, I will not be so naive like what I am now. I don't think I'll ever be like last time. Maybe some characteristics of mine will remain but more or less, will be different.

Yesterday was the craziest night ever, not really that crazy but I reach home at 4 something in the morning, nearing 5 and slept at 5.30am. Went singing K late in the night until morning. Supposed to be an emotional night for everyone but I guess my tears are not going to fall again. Same goes to the others I guess. I only sing slow and sad songs mostly. That's my genre from then till now and in the future.
Theme song for the moment: '真的'.

I know I have not been in good condition lately. I'm in a very sorry state. But, there's people who's situation that is worse than mine. Be grateful. My heart goes out to you, the person who's been hurt badly by a stupid ungrateful, shallow, faceless person. You will never read this but I hope everything will be fine for you. Time will heal your wounds.

Goodbye To You! :)

4 more days.

Today, I get to stay at home and rest but since my kakak sudah balik kampung, (sad) I have to do some housework. So today, I made pancakes with my mom, mop the floor and after dinner, I wash the dishes. Good improvement. I am feeling kinda proud of myself since this is the 1st time in my life I mopped the whole house. While mopping the floor, I listened to my mp4. Listening to music while mopping the floor seems to make mopping more fun.

In the evening, my mom wanna go get her hair cut and so I wanted to go too, to get my hair rebonded. After sitting there for 4 hours, finally it's over, the process. I don't look much different as last time. Look kinda same as before. Wanted to curl my hair but, will be difficult to maintain, especially for a person like me. No choice so... sticking back to straight hair. I don't look any different!>.<

2010

2010 seems faraway. But the truth is there's only 5 days left in 2009. Sad. Don't feel like progressing into 2010. Maybe I have some unfinish business or something. I have tons of things to say about my 2009 but I can't really list them all out. New friendships are forms(I hope there are), stuffs happens, happy, sad, bittersweet, tragic, embarassing, disgusting... and so many more... I really will miss 2009. There are things that I don't wish to bring into the year 2010 but I have to, forced to. They are following me like a stalker. Shit.
2010 really feels distant. How I wish if this is true.

And now, about my Christmas day. There is no Christmas day this year for me. No celebrating no partying or whatsoever. On Christmas Eve, went to CP's house, to countdown Christmas Day, or so I thought. The whole bunch of us was chatting through the night and occasionally singing. I was rushing from a christmas celebration(sort of) in LocationX to CP's house. Looking at my watch, it's already 11. 35pm and I was hoping to rush there in time. At least before Christmas. In the end, I did reach there in time. By the time I'm there, they have already finished a bottle of JD whiskey. At least there's still half a bottle of Chivas. I was hoping to drink 99 and get tipsy and cry my freakin' heart out. Maybe it's easier to cry when you are sober? But anyway, had a memorable night and morning. Some people did not bring presents so in the end, I exchanged my presents with Alvin, one of the people with the heart to get a present. Actually I am happy. At least I have something to think of when I think of Christmas in 2009. Thanks for the memories. This year, without breaking the tradition, I listened to the song 'Lonely Christmas' again. It's like, I am so fated to be listening to this song every year. Did not went home that day. The morning after, XD, went straight away to my performance venue at 7.00am. Did the necessary stuffs and after the concert ends at night, was feeling really, really alone. Walked around while people are moving the instruments and equipments. I did helped out a little. But, still, I feel lonely. So I went home at 11 something, nearing 12. VERY tired because I think I did not really sleep the night before. Plop on my bed and am already asleep seconds later. Easiest way to fall asleep. -This must be the loneliest Christmas day I ever had. But best Christmas Eve...

Today I attended a dinner and I was talking with an old friend. I think he knows that I might be needing someone to talk to and he said that I can call him if I am having any kinda problem and he really meant it. I know. I feel very blessed to have friends like him around me. In fact, very blessed as I have a few other good friends around me. May you all have a blessed 2010 as you all have brightened up my soul.

The only picture I have of tonight. Cheers to us.

blur.

I got the days all mixes up..
I don't know what day is today..
I don't know when I got my hair cut...
Lazy to think...
Few days ago..
My long hair just got shorter....
Looking at other people's long hair and my old photographs...
Just suddenly miss my hair..

I wanna sleep.
But have to finish something 1st.

This week is just so hectic...
Have to plan properly...
Not properly planned then need to get ready to drop dead and die.
I think my stomach is slightly better.
I ate bowls after bowls of tangyuen.
I tell you, I can eat tangyuen non-stop until I puke...
Cuz' I just LOVE to eat tangyuen.

In Pain.

Was home alone last weekend and having the stomach virus..
Very suffering..
Have to do everything myself...
Went to the doctor myself... 1st time~~
and bought porridge which is the only thing I can eat...
Vomitted only twice but was my stomach was very uncomfortable...

Finished my OTM performance...
and feeling quite happy...
I'm gonna get $$!
since I am still having some stomach discomfort,
I ate very little in last night 庆功宴..
>.<
Must recover faster so that I can eat more in this festive season!!!
MUST!

inde.pendent.

Not feeling quite well....
Keep having the notion to puke... I go near food and I wanna puke...
And I think I ate the wrong choice of food just now..
My stomach feels so... bloated now..
Tried vomitting but... nothing came out..
I even tried sticking my fingers inside my mouth... nothing came out...

I think I am fine now.... I should rest more...
Today am gonna sleep very early....~

Yesterday... my kakak went back home already...
Haiz.... Kesian me and my family...
But maybe this is a good thing also...
Cuz' today, I washed my plates after eating and..
for the 1st time...(I think) I put my clothes to dry and took them in when they are dried...
and other stuff that I won't normally do..
Have to be independent or else die in starvation.
very *bangga* with myself~
Sick but still so active..! Hahaha.

Hope I'll recover by next week~~ >.< Must must~
Or else I can't handle the challenges that I'll face next week...

I thought of something to describe my 'little' incident yesterday...
It's just like 贞子 crawling out of the well... all twitching and struggling...
Just like me... But of course my position is lagi awkward and weird... haha

My back still feels (a little)sore..

I fell down into the LONGKANG!!!

Getting all ready and excited to go to XM house...
to go check out THE bag and THE cardigan..(I think it's a cardigan...)and the acid-washed jeans.
So I drove there...
and, when I reached her house... was looking for the door bell...
And suddenly....
I fell down...
Not on the floor but into a drain which I did not notice... Maybe it's because it's too dark and.. I didn't notice it.
Walao!!! So paiseh...
But no time to care about my image already...
Must get out of the drain no matter how ugly my pose is...
Cuz' the drain is very deep, I can't reach the bottom...
All I can do is to use my hands and arms and pull myself out of the drain...
Somemore I'm lugging my laptop bag behind me... Kesiannya...
One uncle on his motorcycle drove past me...
drove PAST me...
without helping..
Maybe he did stop, and seeing that I climbed out.. then only he drove past..
But I don't know... Cuz' I couldn't care less about any other thing except getting myself out.
After.. climbing out, I looked around.
Fortunately(or unfortunately) there's no one around... Or not..... so....xxx

So... I went into her house... and after telling her about my incident, XM was laughing non-stop...

And, went to check out the barang-barangs...
And so I went home with another new bag and a cardigan.. haha

My mother was saying... next time, don't go out at night!! So dangerous...
But... I will be careful next time...
especially going to XM's house... HAHA

There are some little scratches on my legs and a big red bruise at my back..
Other than that, nothing much...
So.. tomorrow definitely cannot go swimming...
Cannot let people see my... scars... Hahahaha...

Bazaar again~

I can't feel my legs...

Walked for 3 hours and maybe more with Ee..

We went to a bazaar somewhere near Sunway...

Felt kinda satisfy with the stuffs that I bought today... except 1 thing maybe...

But it's okay...

Really used up lots of $$ these few days... *sigh*

Felt proud of myself too cuz' I drove all the way from here to there... OhOhohohoO.

~Happy~

Me and Ee was *guessing* our way to Sunway...

Was kinda fun actually.... Hehehe...

Photos>>

3 of us.... again~~ hehe

The yummy(kinda sweet but I like it) cupcakes that I bought for RM10.

I just like to eat pretty and cupcakes with lots of icing...

Haha... You might see a different me next year~

I like today.

Kena woken up in the morning by a phone call by JW.

Askin' me to go swimming early in the morning...

After some discussing, finally agreed to swim at 12.

Didn't know that got 2 other people, YJ and TianYi going too... -.-

And finally met Chris...

There is pool maintenance today, so...

meaning that there will be lots of chlorine in the water...

My hair suffered, now it's so dry and frizzy...

I think my skin is slightly tan and I'm lovin' it... Hahaha

But it will change back to original after a few days, or months...

-Got 2 people don't know how to swim... HAHA!

and got something.... something something.... cannot say out here... HAHA again!

And so, after swimming, went to eat our lunch in Restaurant 3U...(I think that's the name)

My stomach was still feeling kinda empty after finishing a bowl of noodles...

I think the others are too feeling quite the same...

since we just finished swimming..

And guess what....

after some dili dalying, and I stopped outside FunOK to let Chris down since he don't wanna join us, or maybe he has some other plans,

off we go to Sri Petaling to find a CC called... Blitz(something) BlitzZone? Blitz...forgotten

to play L4D2!!!!! Wahahaha

YJ gave me the wrong direction so I turned into the wrong junction and so,

we begin our journey into the unknown land to look for the CC.

In the end, we stopped at some CC also in SriPetaling and luckily they got the game...

So happy playing with them...

(Anybody playing L4D2 should ask me to join y'all...)

Everything is ok... Just that, the mouse is kinda laggy.... Making me not being able to shoot at times... the CC problem... tsk tsk tsk...

Frustrating... Since the zombies are already in front of me..

Overall, it's FUN!

After 1 and a half hours... or more...

fetch them back to school and rushed back home,

since I hafta go to IstanaBudaya for my practice thingy...

Not at home for the whole day....

Yea!

There's some theater going on in IB...

With some storyline that don't really appeal to me...

But there's lot's of audience, mostly Malay..

I think all are Malay...

maybe because of the lead MayaKarin?(pretty)

~~~

So when the practice finished at 11,

I walked around and felt kinda bored,

so I took some pictures...

Boring pictures....

Natrah.. the name of the theater..

Bored.

~My eyes still hurts... thanks to the chlorine..

BangkokJazz

Went to BangkokJazz on Saturday...
Was suppose to go on Friday but have to stay at home and...
practice for my duet on Saturday morning...
Can't let my partner down...
(Supposed to play 5 pages but I can only play till page 4)
hopefully I really didn't let her down in the end>.<

was fun~~ duetting~~!

OK, so on Saturday night...

was feeling kinda .... (dunno how to describe) these few days...

Having some complicated thoughts maybe....?

I can't afford to have these thoughts all this time inside my head...

Got better things to do...

So I wanna drown my ... sorrows(?) in drinking and some music...
Actually, I'm not really that sorrowful... Hahah

And another reason is to stalk watch my *idol* perform...

Ohohoho~ OMG! freakin' yeng
I did ss a lot and took lots of pictures of him too... (haha)

But of cuz' he didn't notice cuz' he don't even know me...

I was just snapping away in a corner... secretly

The reason why I ss a lot was because I was feeling tipsy and I had to do something else besides talking to keep myself up.

*Didn't ordered the BlowJob this time! It's not on the menu anymore, guess they took it away?

How funny it would be, like last time... If I ordered the Blowjob, I would have to say: Can you give me a blowjob? Hahaha.. More suitable for YJ to say... HAHHA!

Here are the pics>

Eeeekkk! Why is there a hand behind me!?


ordered Sex on the Beach...


Took pic of my legs after having too many drinks...-.-

Picture of him~~ hahaha(zoomed in lagi) but still blur..

Not gonna be free this December...
Finally, back to some action after being stagnant for a month...
Gonna be so occupied I think I won't have any time for any trips... >.<
Lots of commitments...


Ohyea.. went to the bookfair in Amcorp Mall the day after...
bought only 2 books because was feelin' tired... but there's really lots of good books..
But my family bought tons of books... So it's the same, I can just read theirs...
The books there are real cheap! And some are really nice~
As usual, I only buy chic lit and romance... Hahaha.. (*Hot vampire romance)
(nono not twilight-esque kiddy vampire but... just the opposite)
Before this, went out shopping with Jiawai and Rouyen,
1st time shopping with RY... Hehehe...
We are forced to wake up early because of someone...
Therefore, I did not get enough sleep cuz' I went home quite late the day before...

Don't know when I'll be blogging next...
Hopefully I'll have the time.. ~